Breaking
JOY DETECTED ON OLD HARDING; PERPETRATOR STILL AT LARGE
An Unidentified Bubble–Blowing Vehicle Brings A City To Its Knees
A local resident on the Monday school run encountered a red SUV trailing thousands of bubbles down a Bellevue street and was so moved she posted the photographic evidence to the community. Her caption: "I would like to thank this Bubble Machine blowing car for being the kind of person that spreads joy in the world on a Monday morning. Seriously made me and the car pool kiddos laugh out loud." The post received 482 reactions — the most of any post in Hip Bellevue this month.
The Tattler has been unable to identify the bubble car. We have not tried very hard.
A MAKE–SHIFT BAKESHOP, AN HONESTY BOX, AND THE RESTORATION OF FAITH
By Our Civic Virtue Correspondent • 345 Reactions
The Saturday Bakeshop. 805 Harpeth Knoll Road. No staff. No locks. No problem.
In a development that sociologists, theologians, and at least one woman in the comments described as "thrilling," a Bellevue resident has erected a fully unattended bakery stand at 805 Harpeth Knoll Road, complete with handwritten prices, an honesty box, and a Cash App QR code.
"I'm so so thrilled to see something like this in little ole Bellevue!" wrote the local resident who posted the photo. The community, in a rare moment of unanimity, agreed.
The operation is run by a baker who can also be ordered from year-round. The stand itself only appears on Saturdays — a kind of suburban brigadoon, but with cookies.
The Tattler is pleased to report that as of press time the bakery has not been looted, the cash box has not been taken, and no one has used the situation as an opportunity to write a 600-word manifesto in the comments. This is the Bellevue we were promised.
345 : 0
Ratio of Reactions to Suggestions That The Box Will Get Stolen
STALKER ON THE BLUE TRAIL: A One-Hour Pacing Investigation
Edwin Warner hiker reports being followed and photographed for 60 minutes. 249 reactions, 68 comments, one police report.
DENTISTS OF BELLEVUE: A 213-Comment Periodontal Inquisition
Anonymous patient quoted $1,500 for "deep cleaning." Floss every day. Gums never bleed. Community attorneys assemble.
KROGER HWY 100: 14 Hours Dark, A Mountain of Casualties
Lost power. Threw away everything. "No backup generators? That's crazy!" said one commenter, correctly.
The Crime Beat
PSA: A MAN ON THE BLUE TRAIL
By the Hiker • 249 Reactions, 68 Comments
Photographed by his subject. Crop button visible — she was preparing the file for the police report.
A local hiker reports that a man "observed me for over an hour and was taking pics or video while I was sitting on a bench where the blue and yellow trail meet."
She continues: "He paced back and forth in front of me on the same 20 ft of the trail for an hour and when I was near the parking lot trying to leave, I turned around and he was standing behind me with his camera pointed at me."
A report was filed with Metro Police. A second commenter recognized the man from a separate trail months ago, identifying him by his distinguishing feature: "a pair of leather work type gloves that were a size or two too big."
"Stay vigilant ladies."
HOMEGOODS: TWO MEN, NO CARTS, ONE WEIRD VIBE
Anonymous • 255 Reactions
An anonymous shopper at the Bellevue HomeGoods reports being followed aisle to aisle by a man with no cart and no apparent intention to purchase anything. A second man, also without a cart, also putting off "a weird vibe," was observed at the front of the store.
When she pretended to film the second man, he "immediately looked at me and bolted out the front door." A manager confirmed his abrupt exit. The "sweet man at HomeGoods" walked her to her car.
Top comment, helpfully: "Next time, don't pretend to video, just video them."
PENN STATION ACCOSTER, IN GREEN POLO
Anonymous • 101 Comments
Photographed near Penn Station. He was reportedly upset about parking.
An anonymous resident reports a man "accosting women with children with foul, aggressive language" near the Penn Station plaza, then threatening another man with the intention of getting a tire iron — all in response to people parking in the fire lane.
Top comment: "Good for him. People shouldn't be parking there."
The Tattler notes that this is the only crime story this month where the comment section took the side of the alleged perpetrator.
CRACKER BARREL ARMED ROBBERY
By an Alarmed Diner • 60 Comments
News spread through Hip Bellevue that the Cracker Barrel had been robbed at gunpoint. The community asked, repeatedly, if they had caught the guys. The community was informed that yes, they had caught the guys.
Top second comment: "this is just sad bellevue will NEVER be the same!!! kids go here…Praying everyone was safe."
The Tattler reminds readers that Cracker Barrel will, in fact, be the same. It is always the same. That is the entire concept of Cracker Barrel.
RED-HATTED PURSE THIEF AT KROGER HWY 70
By a Concerned Bystander • 53 Comments
Suspect, captured in feminine hygiene aisle.
A suspect "in cahoots" with himself stole "an elderly woman's purse" at the Kroger on Highway 70. A nearby shopper, suspicious of his behavior, was already photographing him when the victim reported the theft. The wallet, sadly, is still missing.
Top Comment
"I would've started yelling he's stealing that lady's purse!!!"
DUMPED BEHIND THE FENCE: A TROVE OF "BRAND NEW STUFF"
Anonymous • 30 Comments
Discovered while mowing. A backpack, bedding, and a brochure.
"While cutting grass on Wednesday I discovered this. It was dumped behind my fence. All brand new stuff. I was wondering if this might have been taken from someone's car."
Top comment, with the casual confidence of a forensic profiler: "That looks like shoplifting gone wrong."
SPEEDING IN SNEED: A CAUTIONARY TALE
Anonymous Single Mom • 96 Comments
An anonymous member, recently relocated to Tennessee, was pulled over for speeding on Sneed in Williamson County and discovered to be in possession of "less than half a gram" of marijuana. She turned to Hip Bellevue for an attorney.
The community provided not one but two competing legal philosophies. Faction A: "Don't get a lawyer. It is a misdemeanor and if you have never been in trouble ask for a diversion program." Faction B: "1. Never consent to a search. 2. Don't answer questions. 3. Demand a lawyer."
She was, the edit reveals, given a citation and a court date. Hip Bellevue's pro bono legal practice continues to flourish.
CB
Cheryl Bovard
Insurance Claims Adjuster
"213 comments and not one of them mentioned the actual name of the dental office. That's restraint I have never personally exhibited."
DM
Dustin McAllister
Substitute Teacher
"I floss every day too. I just don't tell strangers about it on the internet."
RG
Rita Gainsborough
Retired Court Reporter
"My favorite comment was the one that said 'gum disease is very real' like she had personally invented gum disease."
Food & Dining
KROGER HWY 100 GOES DARK FOR FOURTEEN HOURS; EVERYTHING PERISHABLE PERISHES
By Our Refrigeration Correspondent • 179 Reactions, 49 Comments
A cart train of casualties. The Bellevue equivalent of a state funeral.
Following an overnight storm, the Kroger on Highway 100 lost power for fourteen hours, an event that catalyzed the disposal of every perishable item in the building and gave the citizens of Bellevue an unobstructed view of what their grocery store contained underneath the lights.
Customers documented the scene with the gravitas usually reserved for natural disasters. Cart after cart was wheeled into the parking lot, piled high with what one observer poignantly described as "a lot of food."
The community demanded answers. Specifically: "No backup generators? That's crazy!"
Another commenter raised a more practical concern: "They should have give it away before it set in a freezer going bad." A separate poster reported being there during the outage and noted that employees "were acting like it was no big deal that they only had back up generators going and that the refrigerated or frozen [stuff was thawing]."
As of press time the Kroger has reopened. The Publix down the road is, as always, smug.
SWEET SOFIA INVADES VICTOR'S TACO SHOP; PALETAS NOW LEGAL TENDER
By the Founder • 85 Reactions
Tacos. Horchata. A small cardboard man in a sombrero. Paletas now also available.
In what may be the most exciting culinary partnership announced in Bellevue this month, Sweet Sofia's has joined forces with Victor's Taco Shop to deliver "PALETAS" — in caps — to Bellevue diners. "Tacos & paletas, the perfect combo for this summer," wrote the founder.
The community celebrated. The Tattler can confirm: this is the perfect combo for this summer.
CAFE 100 IS GONE; JEFFERSON'S MAY BE COMING; WAWA STILL ISN'T
By a Confused Driver-By • 52 Comments
A local resident reported that the sign at the old Cafe 100 is gone, the windows are papered over, and the pergola has been removed from the patio. The community's verdict, delivered with characteristic certainty: "I heard it's gonna be a Jefferson's!"
"Cafe 100? Home of the $20 cheeseburger? Didn't make it?! Hopefully something good, maybe $30 cheeseburgers — fries not included." — A philosophical commenter
A separate poster, true to a Bellevue tradition with the regularity of the equinox, asked: "Is the Wawa on Hwy 100 actually going to open soon?" It is, as the poster correctly noted, the biannual question.
VOODOO GUMBO: STILL UNDEFEATED
By a Repeat Patron • 82 Reactions
"Just wanted to give a shout out to Voodoo Gumbo. The etoufee and fried gator po boy was fantastic as always! Cheers to the great staff working their booties off!"
Five stars. Three red hearts. Last month's "restaurant that has never let you down" remains, as predicted, the restaurant that has never let you down.
McNEIL'S PRODUCE OPENS; STRAWBERRIES IMMEDIATELY THREATENED BY DEER
By the Proprietor • 63 Reactions
Ferns at McNeil's. Fresh strawberries, also in.
McNeil's Produce is open for the season with fresh-picked strawberries. The Tattler recommends arriving before the rest of Bellevue reads this.
WAWA WATCH: THE BIANNUAL POST RETURNS
By A Hopeful Hoagie Enthusiast • 47 Reactions, 27 Comments
Gritty, eating a hoagie, having absolutely nothing to do with Bellevue.
"It's time for the biannual 'Is the Wawa on Hwy 100 actually going to open soon?' post. Saw this pic of Gritty and a Wawa hoagie and it sparked my curiosity again."
Predictably, the comments dissolved into a sectarian war between Wawa loyalists, the Buc-ee's caucus, and a small but vocal pro-Sheetz faction. The Wawa, as of press time, is still not open.
APARTMENT COMPLEX RECOMMENDATIONS DEVOLVE INTO 130-COMMENT REFERENDUM ON ARRIVE
By a Newcomer • 130 Comments
A young woman moving to Bellevue in June asked the community to weigh in on the apartment complexes she had liked "based off pictures alone." The community had thoughts.
After 130 comments, she edited her post twice. Edit 1: "Okay so Arrive is garbage, got it!" Edit 2: "We have our top 5 locked down. Thank you all for your help!"
"That's probably the worst place you can live in Bellevue. DON'T."
It is unclear which complex this comment referred to. It applies to several.
FT
Frank Tedder
Pickleball Instructor
"I want it noted for the record that the bubble car got 8x more reactions than a literal armed robbery at Cracker Barrel."
MG
Marlena Gunderson
Veterinary Technician
"That's because the bubble car spreads joy. The robbery does not. Reactions are working as intended."
RP
Roy Pendergrass
Estate Sale Operator
"I have a roof-mounted bubble machine in my garage. I'm just saying. The technology is here."
Civic Affairs
FIVE OUTAGES IN THREE MONTHS; THE BELLEVUE GRID IS A SUGGESTION
By Tim Ambler • 40 Reactions, 52 Comments
A local resident took to Hip Bellevue with the kind of measured fury that only a man with five power outages in three months can produce. "I don't want to merely complain," he wrote. "I want to understand."
The community responded with theories. Branches still falling from the ice storm, broken at the joints, finally surrendering. NES, several residents noted, does not appear to "annually cut tree limbs over power lines" the way utilities do in other states.
A separate post on a separate day reported a fresh outage on Charlotte Pike at 6:15 AM. Another reported one in Cross Timbers at 1 AM. Power, in Bellevue, is now best understood as a temporary condition between outages.
As of press time, the lights are on. For the moment.
"BELLEVUE IS GONNA BE IN A MOVIE"; COMMUNITY IMMEDIATELY PROPOSES SUBJECT
By a Civic Booster • 72 Reactions, 42 Comments
A local resident shared the exciting news that Bellevue will be appearing in a movie. The community, asked to imagine which movie, responded with their characteristic restraint.
"A Documentary about Meth and the Homeless migration to the Suburbs." — Top comment, by a man who has thought about this
"I loved the first season. Can't wait for season 2." — A second commenter, treating Bellevue as the prestige TV property it apparently is
The Tattler will report further details as they become available, ideally in the form of a trailer.
"THE BAR HAS NEVER BEEN LOWER, AND YET"
By Lacey Fleming • 41 Reactions, 16 Comments
A local resident's entire post text consisted of the eight words "The bar has never been lower, and yet" — with no further context, no photo description, and no follow-up. It is unclear what specifically caused her to despair. It does not appear to matter.
Top comment: "Wow, maybe the person had a busy time getting into the car and spaced the cup they sat down while doing so. WHY must everything be posted online to hate on others, when yall have *zero clue* what actually happened? Ugh."
Hip Bellevue: where a single object can launch 16 comments without anyone agreeing on what the object is.
A REMINDER FROM RYAN ACREE, RE: STOPLIGHTS
By a Civic Educator • 78 Reactions
"A stoplight that is out is treated as A 4-way stop!"
Community Response
"Not in TN everyone out here just takes it as free game when a light is out lol."
"Flashing red is treated as a stop sign. Flashing yellow means proceed with caution. Amazes me how many people do not know this."
Public Safety
A DRIVER GOING 120 ON 440
Anonymous • 51 Reactions
Suspect vehicle, photographed at a more reasonable velocity.
"PSA: ( I promise I'm not being a Karen, this guy literally almost killed me ) This vehicle almost ran me off the road doing around 120, zigzagged through lanes and proceeded to act like an absolute maniac. I called the police, but he's somewhere in Bellevue now."
The pre-emptive Karen disclaimer has become standard formatting in Hip Bellevue PSAs. The Tattler welcomes this evolution of community speech.
BABY GEESE HATCHED AT CHICK-FIL-A; DRIVE WITH CAUTION
"The baby geese have hatched at chick-fil-a. So please be cautious around that area. Especially if mother goose tries to move them."
A separate post reported a single goose sitting alone outside the same Chick-fil-A "for hours."
The Tattler is monitoring the situation. The geese have made no demands.
A REMINDER, FROM MARY NELL BRYAN, RE: LILIES AND CATS
"Friends, if you are bringing lilies home from church or elsewhere this morning, please remember to keep them out of the [reach of cats]." A small but important PSA on Easter morning. 58 reactions. Zero arguments.
FIRE LANE ACCOSTER REMAINS AT LARGE
The aforementioned green-polo gentleman from the Crime Beat is, as of press time, still out there — somewhere in Bellevue, ready to defend the fire lane from those who would block it.
Lifestyle & Wellness
"DISTINGUISHED OLDER GENTLEMAN" SEEKS COMPANION; IS A GERMAN SHEPHERD
By Tiffany Weaver, Foster Coordinator • 44 Reactions
Mojo. Silver-fox energy.
"Ladies… if you've ever dreamed of being adored by a distinguished older gentleman with impeccable manners, a dramatic backstory, loves sunset strolls and zero interest in playing it cool, allow me to introduce your new leading man: Mojo."
Mojo is an 8-and-a-half-year-old German Shepherd with "silver-fox energy" who is described as "the type who wants your attention — yes, yours." The Tattler wishes to note that this is the finest piece of adoption copy ever published on Hip Bellevue. We will be reading it again.
ANONYMOUS RESIDENT SEEKS PSYCHIC MEDIUM; COMMUNITY DELIVERS THEOLOGICAL DEBATE INSTEAD
Anonymous • 67 Comments
An anonymous member, "going through a lot," asked Hip Bellevue for recommendations for a psychic medium to "speak with" deceased family members. She asked politely. She offered to pay.
The comments split immediately into two camps. Camp A recommended specific local mediums and offered phone numbers. Camp B launched a 67-comment theological reclamation effort featuring extended commentary on Jesus, Satan, demons, and "what sounds positive before beginning to twist."
A third commenter, exhausted, posted: "If you can't help with this person's request, then just move on." It is unclear if anyone moved on.
GOAT YOGA NASHVILLE OFFERS BABY GOAT CUDDLING (NO YOGA REQUIRED)
By Melody Grace Nash • 41 Reactions
"Hi all!! Goat Yoga Nashville is still offering Baby Goat Cuddling, without the yoga, but only for a limited time and we still have some availability for tomorrow and the next few weeks."
The goats are 1–3 weeks old. The window closes in May. The Tattler reminds Bellevue that you have specifically been told the yoga is optional.
ANONYMOUS RESIDENT HAS AN ABSCESSED TOOTH; FACEBOOK PRESCRIBES ANTIBIOTICS
An anonymous resident with no dental insurance and "bad credit" reported a tooth abscess radiating from jaw to ear. The community, as one, told her to skip the dentist and find a walk-in clinic for antibiotics first.
"A dentist can't touch an abscess tooth without potentially making the infection worse," wrote two separate medical experts who do not appear to be medical experts. The Tattler reminds readers that Hip Bellevue is not a licensed medical practitioner, but it is, on the question of abscessed teeth, oddly correct.
Wildlife Report
MELVIN STEWART HAS BEEN VERY BUSY THIS MONTH
An accounting of the works of our chief wildlife photographer
SHADOW: A NEW OWL ENTERS THE PANTHEON
By Our Chief Wildlife Photographer • 167 Reactions
In what is quickly becoming the Bellevue equivalent of a royal birth announcement, our chief wildlife photographer introduced "Shadow" — the newest owl — to the community.
"I found her today in Warner Park! She was wide awake and hunting." Four owl emojis. The community erupted: "Love owls!" "These pics are amazing!"
THE QUEEN OWL CONTEST: CIVIC PARTICIPATION DEMANDED
By the Photographer Again • 73 Reactions, 24 Comments
Days later, the photographer launched a contest. The candidates: (1) Shadow, (2) Hooty the baby Great Horned Owl, (3) Hooty the Barred Owl, (4) Millie the Great Horned Owl, and (5) "one of my favorites" — Belle.
A new commenter, panicked: "Im new here. There's an owl contest?"
There is. There always has been. Welcome.
OSPREYS RETURN TO NEST BEHIND HOME DEPOT
By the Same Photographer • 110 Reactions
"DO NOT LOAD TIP END WITH WEIGHT OF POLE." The ospreys disagree.
"Good Saturday morning neighbors! Our Bellevue Ospreys are back at their nest at the soccer field behind Home Depot!"
Four camera emojis. The Tattler counted them.
BLAZE THE EAGLE'S CHILDREN ARE GETTING HUGE
By the Photographer, Once More • 63 Reactions
Blaze, on her nest. Photo: Canon R100, 800mm lens.
"Blaze the Queen of the Cumberland River kids are getting huge! American Blad Eagle, Canon R100, 800mm lens."
The lens specs are part of every post. The Tattler suspects this is to discourage competing photographers.
EDWIN WARNER, AFTER THE RAIN
By Gary Pinkerton • 116 Reactions
Edwin Warner Park, after last night's rain.
A second wildlife photographer entered the chat with this single sun-shaft photo of Edwin Warner Park. No caption beyond the title. None needed. The Tattler suspects a quiet rivalry brewing.
HUMMINGBIRDS ARE BACK; THEY ARE FURIOUS
By Nick D'Amico • 79 Reactions
"The hummingbirds are here and they ain't playing." Nick D'Amico clarified in the comments that the apparent dogfighting is "a territorial fight between males, not mating, haha. We're in a drought and that can make these guys very aggressive toward each other."
A separate poll asked the community whether anyone had seen hummingbirds yet. The community had. They were aggressive.
JC
Joel Carrasco
Septic Tank Specialist
"I've lived here forty years. I had no idea we had even one owl."
PA
Paige Aldridge
Estate Liquidator
"I voted Belle. I will always vote Belle. The new owls have not earned it."
EV
Elliott Vandermeer
Notary Public
"At what point does the photographer just buy the owls outright and consolidate the brand?"
Lost & Found
| Status | Subject | Location | Notable Detail |
|---|
| FOUND | Two golden retrievers | CVS parking lot | "i'm not sure who's babies these are." 192 reactions. Home within hours. |
| FOUND | Mushu (cat) | Post Ridge | 9 yo, 20 lbs, Siamese, ESA. Gone exactly one week. Returned at 3 AM. |
| RETURNED | Black dog in red harness | McCrory Lane | Owner found by post update. "He almost got hit and I just could not leave him." |
| RETURNED | Brown dog | Roaming Bellevue | Microchipped. Belle Forest Animal Hospital had it scanned in fifteen minutes. |
| FOUND | One-eyed dog | Temple Hills | "UPDATE: FOUND." Editor's favorite update format. |
| FOUND | Cat, no tags | Poplar Creek Estates | "Sweet little cat." Owner sought. |
| FOUND | Cat, briefly | Collins Rd, near Paragon | "Seen at 7:25, but it ran away quickly!" Status: ambiguous. |
| FOSTERED | Mojo (German Shepherd) | Foster network | Distinguished older gentleman. Impeccable manners. |
| REHOMED | Meatball (dog) | via Ilsa Nicholas | Followed by Elsa, who is "still searching." |
| SOUGHT | Tortoiseshell cat | PetSmart Bellevue One | "Been at petsmart for a while now." 159 reactions. Adoption pending. |
| RETURNED | Wallet | Kroger Hwy 70 | Purse and phone recovered. Wallet still missing. See Crime Beat. |
| FOUND | Mystery purse | Victor's Taco Shop | "No ID. I'm a manager, please come by." Bellevue at its honest best. |
"Picked these up at CVS." 192 reactions.
Mushu, home after 7 days.
Picked up on McCrory.
Still at PetSmart Bellevue One.
The Tattler is reasonably confident that Bellevue's missing-pet response time has now surpassed that of most metro emergency services and many federal agencies.
Letters to the Editor
ON THE THEFT OF A CHICKEN ON A BICYCLE FROM A GRAVE
By Erika Green • 97 Reactions
Reference photo. The Tattler does not have a photo of the actual stolen chicken-on-bicycle.
"It's truly a shame that someone who may end up in this graveyard one day is stealing from the graves of other loved ones." A local resident reports that an ornamental "chicken on a bicycle," placed at her mother's grave at Harpeth Hills Funeral Home, has been stolen. The cemetery office confirmed grave theft has become "a serious issue." Multiple commenters proposed installing trail cameras in the trees.
ON THE RETURN OF MUSHU
"MUSHU IS HOME!! Thank you to everyone who helped look for him, checked in on us and helped spread the word. He was gone for exactly one week and came home around 3am this morning!! Nothing compares to how amazing it felt to wake my daughter up this morning holding him."
Mushu, a 9-year-old, 20-pound, registered emotional support cat, has now joined Maxwell in the pantheon of Bellevue cats who briefly tested everyone's mental health.
ON THE STOLEN PURSE AT KROGER
"Please dont come after the person posting this. That person's has helped my mom an was very nice an polite to her. Please just help if you can dont disrespect any about this." — The victim's daughter, asking the community to behave.
The Tattler salutes the bystander, the daughter, and notes that "please don't come after the person posting this" is an unusually grim modern thing to need to write.
ON THE PRIDE AND PRIVILEGE OF BELLEVUE
A local resident, "a gentleman from eastern North Carolina," asked the community to "explain to me the pride and privilege of Bellevue." The community, dignified, replied that this might be more of a Brentwood or Franklin thing.
"Love our neighborhood! Love Bellevue would love to see more and better restaurants" — one resident.
Arts & Letters
@artbychillwill at Bellevue Florist.
CHILL CREATIVE CONTRACTOR LLC ALSO PAINTS A REALLY NICE FLOWER
By William DonJulio Love • 124 Reactions
A local contractor — known to many as "Art by Chill Will" — revealed that the giant iris on the side of Bellevue Florist is his work, and is taking commissions for additional floral murals throughout town.
The contractor's main business is bathroom remodels. The mural is, by all accounts, a pleasant surprise. The Tattler endorses any business model that includes "spa-like bathrooms with sleek, minimalist finishes" AND "very large public flowers."
Classifieds
HOUSE CLEANER — Seven separate posts this month. Premier Clean Team and Southern Shine Cleaning Service repeatedly recommended.
LANDSCAPER / MOWER — Twenty-five separate posts. Roots Landscape Services responded to most of them within minutes.
HVAC / AC — Cool Hand HVAC, Chad's HVAC, and "the reasonable and punctual man" recommended by various neighbors.
TREE SERVICE — Required after the straight-line winds. Tanksley Tree Service named in the comments.
BAMBOO REMOVAL — A specialty request. Top suggestion: "The Nashville Zoo is always looking for bamboo to feed to animals."
DENTIST — Multiple posts seeking second opinions following the Dentists of Bellevue affair. Harpeth Dental Care, West Meade Dental named.
STYLIST — Seven separate posts. Sola Salons mentioned more times than is statistically reasonable.
PCP — "My PCP is moving to MDLIVE which is $2500 per year just to see her." Heritage Medical recommended repeatedly.
NECK TATTOO — "Example in the comments." There were no examples in the comments.
PSYCHIC MEDIUM — See Lifestyle & Wellness. Outcome inconclusive.
JACOREY AVANTE HAYES — "$40 inside and out" car detailing. "Just a young hustle." Booked immediately.
CHILL CREATIVE CONTRACTOR LLC — Murals AND bathrooms.
VOLUNTEER PIE-ONEER — Accepted to Bellevue Farmers Market, Thursdays 4–7 PM.
BREASTMILK — "* SOS NEED ASAP * Breastmilk by Tomorrow!" Tags: time-sensitive.
SENIORS / DUES — A kind soul anonymously paid the senior dues for ALL of the school's seniors. The Tattler salutes whoever you are.
By the Numbers
APRIL 2026: A MONTH IN HIP BELLEVUE
482
Reactions to a Bubble Machine Car
37
Reactions to an Armed Robbery at Cracker Barrel
213
Comments on the Dentists of Bellevue Affair
14
Hours Kroger Hwy 100 Was Without Power
5
Power Outages in Three Months
5
Owls in the Queen Owl Contest
25
Separate Posts Seeking a Mower
7
Separate Posts Seeking a House Cleaner
13 : 1
Ratio of Bubble Joy to Cracker Barrel Concern
Partly cloudy with a 100% chance of someone asking for a landscaper recommendation.
Overnight power outages, with scattered tree limbs falling on the lines from January.
Weekend outlook: bubble cars, baby geese, an owl announcement, and the biannual Wawa post.
The Saturday Bakeshop
"805 Harpeth Knoll. We Trust You."
Saturdays Only • Cash App or Honesty Box • Bellevue's Most Optimistic Business Model
Sweet Sofia's × Victor's
"Tacos & Paletas: The Perfect Combo
For This Summer."
Bellevue, TN.
Roots Landscape Services
"Whether it's regular maintenance,
design, or outdoor structures —
no job is too big or too small."
Posted 11 times. We get it.
uBreakiFix
"Ask for Jacob.
Quoted me 2 hours, finished in 45 min."
— Kacie from Dickson, allegedly
Goat Yoga Nashville
"Baby Goat Cuddling.
Yoga is optional.
Babies only available until May."
The Bellevue Tattler
The Bellevue Tattler is not a real newspaper. It is a satirical summary of posts from the Hip Bellevue Facebook group, April 2026. All content is sourced from real, public Facebook posts. No bubble cars were harmed in the making of this gazette, though the Kroger lost approximately 14 hours of refrigeration. If you are the bubble car, please contact us — we would like to interview you.
© 2026 The Bellevue Tattler • Vol. 1, No. 2 • Printed on 100% Recycled Facebook Posts • "All the News That's Fit to Post"
