Councilwoman Sheri Weiner shared this photo with the caption "You have got to completely be kidding me…" The post received 52 reactions and 52 comments. The community demands answers. The bottles remain unidentified. A toilet sits in a parking lot next to a dumpster. Nobody knows why. The second comment was "Hi, is this still available?"
The Tattler has filed a FOIA request. Results pending.
In what may be the most significant relief effort Bellevue has seen since the ice storm debris pickup began, Maxwell the cat has been found.
The saga began when A local resident alerted the community that her boyfriend's roommate had left the door open at Legacy Hill Apartments, allowing the "little skittish" but treat-loving Maxwell to make a break for freedom sometime after 11:00 PM.
The community mobilized immediately. One resident provided a 247-word emergency response protocol for lost cats, including detailed advice about flashlights, crawl spaces, the psychological state of recently escaped felines, and the importance of searching "before dawn, giving him plenty of time to respond."
Another commenter simply tagged their friend Samantha.
Details of the rescue operation remain classified, but the follow-up post — consisting entirely of "WE FOUND MAXWELL" and a heart emoji — received 331 reactions, making it the single most popular post in the Hip Bellevue community this month.
For context, a possible homicide on Bridgewalk Place received 61 reactions. Maxwell was not available for comment.
Local food critic conducts "proper investigation" of $5 cheeseburger. Community responds: "I ain't reading all that."
A dental patient falls for his hygienist. A stranger falls for a woman who walked away. Both love guitars.
Harpeth Bend Drive residents divided over infrastructure nobody asked for.
"You didn't make it very easy for her to look up your name…"
"If she quickly looked away and started walking faster she was probably creeped out. You sound unwell buddy."
Editor's note: The escalation from "we talked about guitars" to "if we HAD talked, we COULD have talked about guitars" to "say a prayer and God will make sure we meet up" is, in our professional opinion, a masterclass in delusional romantic escalation. The callback to "my teeth are fine unlike that other guy" is chef's kiss.
A grandfather's two weeks of labor and $200 investment in a hand-built RC car were obliterated in seconds when the driver of a "big, black, unwashed lifted pickup" allegedly swerved into the bike lane on Baugh on purpose to crush the vehicle near the library.
"I hope you felt like a bigger man than you actually are," The grandfather wrote, "because I guarantee there's nothing big about you."
The suspect remains at large. The RC car has been pronounced dead at the scene. Funeral arrangements are pending.
A man approached her vehicle at Nashville West shopping center, knocked on her window, reached for the door handle, and asked for money for a basketball jersey — with his phone "ready to accept payment." Two to three accomplices waited in a nearby vehicle.
One commenter, a mother of two teenage girls about to move to the area, asked the community to "reassure me Bellevue is safe." No reassurance was provided.
An anonymous resident reported being woken by gunshots at Sawyer Brown Road and Hicks Road at 2:49 AM. One commenter identified a suspect vehicle: "a busted looking white Nissan with an exhaust running that area a lot."
Another commenter contributed: "Pew pew."
A motorist left behind "a part of your car," destroyed her mailbox, scattered her storm debris pile, drove over a neighbor's tree root, and fled the scene on Beech Bend Drive.
The vehicle was identified as a Honda. Community consensus: the driver was drunk.
Security footage from Section 9 of River Plantation captured a figure prowling a carport Saturday night. A car was stolen the same evening.
One commenter offered practical advice: "Adjust the camera angle so it can pick up a face. It's impossible to identify anyone from the current angle."
A shooting was reported on Bridgewalk Place. Officers confirmed one person deceased with no suspect description.
Top comment: "To clarify this is zip code 37209 not Bellevue correct?" — a reminder that even in tragedy, jurisdiction matters.
When a local resident posed the simple question — "Name a local restaurant that has never once let you down" — he could not have known he was about to detonate a 231-comment firestorm that would become the most-commented post in the Hip Bellevue community this month.
The post received only 11 reactions. People did not come to agree. They came to argue.
The Top Contenders:
The comment section devolved into what sociologists might call "a vigorous exchange of deeply held opinions about fried food."
Editor's Note: The Tattler takes no official position on this matter, as our insurance does not cover restaurant wars.
As many of you know, I take my culinary exploration very seriously. When news broke that In-N-Out Burger had finally graced our humble city with its presence, I knew it would be irresponsible — borderline negligent — not to conduct a proper investigation. My wife and I recently patronized the new Franklin location. I submit the following review for your consideration.
Upon arrival, I was immediately met with what can only be described as a pilgrimage of burger enthusiasts. The line snaked around the building like people were waiting for a limited-edition tasting menu rather than a $5 cheeseburger. Naturally, I joined the masses, observing the atmosphere with the calm composure of a seasoned food critic (while secretly wondering if the hype could possibly be justified).
First, the staff. I must note that the employees were alarmingly cheerful. Smiling, greeting everyone, thanking people repeatedly — it was almost unsettling. One might expect such enthusiasm at a Michelin-starred establishment where the tasting menu costs $300, but here they were delivering that same energy over burgers and milkshakes.
Now to the main event: the Double-Double. Wrapped modestly in its paper attire, it made no grand visual statement. Yet the first bite revealed something rather impressive. The beef was fresh, the lettuce crisp, the tomato bright, and the whole thing balanced in a way that felt suspiciously well thought out for something ordered at a counter.
But we must discuss the Animal Style fries, which appear to have been designed by someone who asked the question: What if fries were both a side dish and a lifestyle choice? The result is a glorious, slightly chaotic pile that requires both commitment and several napkins. From a technical standpoint it is excessive. From a personal enjoyment standpoint… I regret nothing.
The menu itself is almost suspiciously minimal. No twenty-page burger variations, no artisanal descriptions about the philosophical journey of the potato. Just burgers, fries, shakes, and a secret menu that everyone pretends they didn't already research beforehand.
By the end of the meal I found myself reflecting on the experience. Was this fine dining? Certainly not. Were there white tablecloths, candlelight, or a sommelier discussing the terroir of the ketchup? Also no. But what there was — and this may be the real secret — is fresh food, genuinely friendly service, and a burger that delivers exactly what it promises.
"I ain't reading all that. Happy for you tho. Or sorry that happened."
"This egotistical novel gave me the ick. Also I refuse to believe that anyone on earth enjoys those fries."
In a harrowing tale of fast-food misadventure, A local man reports being hospitalized for four days with "severe complications from campylobacter" contracted from the Taco Bell on Highway 70 S.
He is now seeking other victims. Another commenter confirmed falling "severely ill & vomiting the whole next day" after ordering a Mexican Pizza from the same location.
The Taco Bell has not issued a statement, though one might argue that Taco Bell is the statement.
A local diner visited Another Broken Egg Cafe, received overcooked eggs Benedict that "didn't warrant complaining," and then discovered an 89-cent "convenience fee" on her receipt.
In a stunning turn, an actual employee of the restaurant responded in the comments, apologizing for the eggs and expressing genuine confusion about the fee: "I am as confused as you."
This may be the only time in Facebook history that a complaint was met with both an apology and genuine bewilderment from management.
A local foodie has been to Calixto multiple times and reports "the best guacamole in the area." She notes the restaurant hasn't been busy and wanted to spread the word. Multiple commenters confirmed the chicken mole is "the best we've had in Nashville."
The Tattler recommends arriving before the rest of Bellevue reads this.
When a curious resident asked what was moving into the former Red Robin at Nashville West, the community spoke with one voice: "Olive Garden, please."
A dissenter noted: "Olive Garden being a top pick is wild y'all."
No official announcement has been made. The building sits empty, a monument to unlimited breadsticks that never were.
"I just want to say great job to the 2 servers — a male and a female — at Jonathan's today at lunch. They kept their cool and did a great job staying professional while waiting on a couple tables of a large group of families who had zero parenting skills."
206 reactions. Zero comments. Everyone agreed. No one wanted to self-identify.
"Food was so good." 99 reactions. One commenter asked if they've gotten a bartender yet. Another simply asked: "What did you get? Looks good!"
The installation of ten speed cushions on a 0.8-mile stretch of Harpeth Bend Drive has divided the community along lines not seen since the Great Debris Pickup Debate of March 2026 (see below).
A local motorist fired the opening salvo with a question that was clearly not a question: "Can anyone advise whose idea it was to put 10 'speed cushions' on a .8 mile stretch of Harpeth Bend Drive?"
One 25-year resident recalled "exactly one car accident" in a quarter century and questioned whether the cushions would "significantly slow down the arrival of emergency responders."
A pro-cushion commenter countered that the cushions were installed only after a specific number of homeowners requested them, adding: "I don't think I've ever been over on HB visiting my daughter without witnessing a car barreling down the road at a high rate of speed."
104 comments later, the cushions remain. The debate rages. The cars, presumably, are now going slower. Whether anyone is happy about this is unclear.
An anonymous resident, signing off simply as "Extremely tired," demanded to know why a train has suddenly begun honking its horn through Bellevue at all hours — including 2 AM — after six years of peaceful coexistence.
A 26-year resident offered a poetic theory: "Maybe it's because we've lost so many trees?"
A railroad regulations enthusiast patiently explained that trains are required by FRC rules to sound their horns within a certain distance of crossings.
The trees, apparently, were all that stood between Bellevue and the horns.
Following a major ice storm, the question "Has anyone in the Bellevue area seen debris pickup on residential streets?" generated 54 comments of varying patience levels.
One commenter admitted to typing and deleting their response multiple times "to not say anything rude" about Metro employees.
Another offered grace: "I do think it is a major undertaking & I am willing to give them some grace."
Brush crews have been spotted at Beech Bend and Edwin Warner. If you live elsewhere: thoughts and prayers.
In a post that can only be described as a workplace therapy session conducted at volume, a local cashier reminded the citizens of Bellevue that Tennessee law requires them to physically hold and examine your ID when selling alcohol and tobacco.
One commenter shared that they "saw a long-time cashier get arrested for mis-typing a birthdate" during an ABC check.
The Tattler stands with our local cashier. Have your ID ready.
An anonymous parent reported that children are "going around pulling fire alarms because apparently it's funny to them," forcing "multiple families with small babies" to evacuate their apartments.
Top comment: "That's a federal offense." Second comment: "File a police report." The children were not available for comment, as they were presumably pulling another fire alarm.
An anonymous parent asked about daycares accepting religious exemptions for vaccinations, preemptively adding: "Not here to discuss whether or not we should vaccinate our children."
The community did not honor this request.
"A simple Google search will tell you that T.C.A. § 49-6-5001 requires all daycare centers to allow for religious exemptions. Have you tried 'doing your own research'? I hear that's popular with the anti-vaccine crowd."
The Tattler wonders if a municipal spa membership program could reduce crime more effectively than the speed cushions. Spavia was mentioned in five separate posts this month, making it the unofficial sponsor of Hip Bellevue.
A local resident acknowledged she might "get some chuckles" for asking, but wanted to know if there was anyplace she could go just to get cat cuddles.
"I really miss having a cat, and in my situation I cannot adopt one for a while."
The community did not laugh. Instead, it delivered: Cheatham County Animal Control was recommended by multiple commenters as a haven for cat cuddlers, located just 15–20 minutes from Bellevue.
Sometimes Facebook is good, actually.
A West Nashville mom proposed a weekly stroller walk at Edwin Warner Park: "Nothing formal, just getting outside, moving our bodies, and connecting with babies in tow."
One respondent: "Walk, but honestly always feel a bit weird with these things cause I'm 'alternative' and I have received SO MUCH judgement in other parental settings."
The Tattler hereby declares: all moms are welcome at Edwin Warner. Even the alternative ones. Especially the alternative ones.
An outdoor worker reported being "always SUPER tired" regardless of sleep. The comments section immediately transformed into a medical conference, prescribing paleo diets, lab work, iron infusions, holistic doctors, and stool tests.
The Tattler reminds readers that Facebook is not a licensed medical practitioner, though it does have strong opinions about your gut biome.
After a year of searching, a local wildlife photographer watched "Queen Belle" — a great horned owl — fly into her tree. He climbed through valleys and hills to reach her, and she "popped her head out."
"Amazing photos and I love that it looks like she is wearing a crown," one commenter wrote. Another was moved to action: "You've inspired me to use binoculars and search for owls."
236 reactions. The owl beat the In-N-Out review, the Taco Bell poisoning, and the speed cushion controversy. Combined.
A local hiker spotted a garter snake at Percy Warner Park and declared it the first of the season, assuring the community: "No harm was done to the snake!"
Responses ranged from "Leave it be" to "Harmless garter snake" — a rare moment of unanimous agreement in Hip Bellevue.
Our chief wildlife photographer (again) reported a dramatic scene at Radnor Lake: he photographed a red-tailed hawk that had captured a snake, only to be nearly attacked by the mate of "Storm," one of his favorite American Bald Eagles.
"Then suddenly Storm's mate flew right on top of me and was just about to attack."
The photographer survived. The hawk kept the snake. Storm's mate flew away. The Tattler nominates our chief wildlife photographer for a Pulitzer.
| Status | Animal | Location | Notable Detail |
|---|---|---|---|
| FOUND | Maxwell (cat) | Legacy Hill Apts | 331 reactions. A legend. |
| FOUND | Sweet female doodle(?) | River Plantation Sec. 4 | "Very skinny." Returned to owner. |
| FOUND | Dog with two collars | Sawyer Brown Rd | Two collars, no address. Ironic. |
| FOUND | Dog with harness | Bellevue Manor | Has harness and flea collar. No ID. |
| FOUND | Sweet girl (dog) | Unknown | "Is anyone missing this sweet girl?" |
| MISSING | Alfalfa (bunny) | River Bend Estates | "Light brown bunny. Please look under your bushes." |
| INJURED | Brown female dog | Railroad trestle | Hit by car. Taken to VG ER. Microchipped. |
| LOCATED | Tyee (human) | CVS / TJMaxx / Kroger | Needed shoes. Got the shoes. |
The Tattler notes that Bellevue's lost pet infrastructure rivals FEMA's disaster response capabilities, and is arguably more effective.
"This was found in a booth at Pizza Perfect. Nothing on the back. Can you guys do a thing and find the owner?" The community did, in fact, do a thing. One commenter suggested kicking in on a St. Jude donation in the man's honor. 114 reactions.
The Tattler salutes both the rescuer for their swift action and the anonymous commenter for offering funeral services. This is Bellevue at its finest.
An anonymous poster asked about LGBTQ+ groups in the area, noting they were "a little fearful" but wanted to "connect with more people in a safe space."
Top comment: "Those that are laugh reacting and making jokes definitely have secret Grindr accounts. Always the usual suspects."
A local dog owner, evicted for having three dogs, sought to rehome Zeus, currently in expensive boarding. Between the negative comments, a hero emerged from Scottsville, Kentucky: "My house is [available]."
Sometimes, the comment section giveth.
The Bellevue Tattler is not a real newspaper. It is a satirical summary of posts from the Hip Bellevue Facebook group, March 2026. All content is sourced from real, public Facebook posts. No animals were harmed in the making of this gazette, though one RC car was tragically lost. If you or someone you know has information about a big, black, unwashed lifted pickup truck, please contact the authorities.
© 2026 The Bellevue Tattler • A Production of Pure Civic Absurdity • Printed on 100% Recycled Facebook Posts